"Ty"

June 17, 2007

When I first saw you,
I thought you were way out of my league,
That you’d look at me
And say “ew.”

I was wrong
Unless you’re being fake
‘Cause you’re talking to me by choice
And I’m wide awake.

I never woulda guessed;
Never foreseen
You ever talking to me,
Being more than just a dream.

Diary Entry Numero Quatro

Dear Diane,

OMG!!! I just got back from the meeting with my agency and it went ah-mazing!!!! Well, there was like 13 models there for the call-back. The owner came up to talk and told us to stay after if we already have a comp card, soo, of course, I stayed. My mom and I showed him my card and pictures and he said that I was prettier in person than I was in my pictures. He said that we might have to get new ones done with him. Then, he told us to wait for a little bit so he could talk to us. After he was done talking to everyone with their pictures, he took us upstairs into his office. He talked to us about how the 13-16 year old girls' market is the most competitive. He showed us a few comp cards of other girls in that group and they looked absolutely incredible. I think we might need to make another investment into these other pictures. He was saying that we should get black & whites done, too, and he was talking about my future in this business. This is the owner of the whole company, here, he talked to us about my career for, like, a half an hour. When we left, the only people there other than us, was the employees. He told us to stop and say hi to his assistant, Amy, before we left. We are meeting with them personally on Friday at 4. OMG!!! I'm soo excited! I can not wait for Friday!!!

So, anyways, yeah, I know this is my second entry today, but I just couldn't wait to tell!!

YAY MEE!!!!!

As always,

Elizabeth C.

"Broken"

Falling apart
But nobody sees
Falling apart
But nobody knows.

All the time
Crumpling inside
Breaking down
With a smile to hide

Piece by piece,
My happiness goes
Bit by bit,
But it never shows.

Look in my eyes
Look behind my smile
Look beyond my happy mask
Look beyond my words.

Just peek a little closer
So that maybe you will see.
Way beyond my green eyes,
Deep inside of me

Diary Entry Numero Tres

Dear Diane,

Today, OOHH!!! I can't WAIT!!!! I'm meeting with my modeling agent to go over what work they think I'll be good for!!! I'm sooo excited! But the meeting's not till 5:45. And then, after that, I'm goin to a Venture Crew meeting. Today I'm gonna be really really busy!! That's in a good way, though! My mom and I made peace yesterday [[finally]] and so now we're okay. That will probably last about a week. Hahaha only kidding. It should last at least a month.
Saturday, I have a babysitting job to go to. It's my first with these people, so I'll need to make a good impression. I hope they like me!! lol....I'm sure they will. The kids will be asleep so it should be uber easy. They have a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and a 10 week old. Thank GOD it's only for like 2 hours! Oh well, money is money. And if I have to sit for the 10 week old, that just means more of it!! Lol.....And as of right now, I'm pretty much broke. In other words, I'm saving up for a portable DVD player, I owe my mom $70, and I'm saving up for some new earphones and I have a grand total of....wait for it.... $34. I know, I told you I'm broke. That's why I'm doing any babysitting job possible. The last one I did, I made $10, and the one before that, I made $21. The $21 was in a check, however, and will go to my savings account, and therefore doesn't count. I'm hoping to start getting modeling jobs soon because that is some GOOD money! Granted, if I do something that makes a lot of money, most of it will probably go into my savings. Oh well, whatever, it's still guna add up. I'm soo excited to be modeling again!
Next week, my little 11 year old sister, is going to sleep-away camp. She's not nervous though....thank GAWD!! I think I would die if I had to listen to her complain over and over with my mom.
Oh well, that's pretty much it for now.

Infinite x's and o's,
Elizabeth

Diary Entry Numero Dos

Dear Diane,

Oh my goodness!! I cannot STAND my parents! Today, I did NOTHING wrong! NOTHING!!! But they still yelled at me. Urgghhh! I did my chores & everything, too. What is wrong with these people? Hahaha!
Soo anyways.....next week, I am being forced against my will to go to Quincy. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you why. It's to be a volunteer at this Bible Camp. This is so I can look after these whiny brats they call kindergardeners. Ugggh! 2 of my friends already CITed at this one camp for preschoolers, and they said it was a NIGHTMARE! And that all the little kids were like yelling and running around and would not behave! And WHYY would my parents expect me to like this idea?? I swear, they need to be put in a facility or sumthin. They must be freakin retarded to make me do this. AND, I'm staying with my grandparents on my dad's side. They have NOO computer. UGGGGH!! Just kill me now.
There is no god.
That's final--I've decided.

Infinite x's and o's,
Elizabeth

Diary Entry Numero Uno

Dear Diane,

Hmmmm....where to start? Well, I guess I should probably start by telling you a little bit about me. I have a little sister named Taylor who annoys me to no end. I have a mom and a dad, who also annoy me, but have power over me so I can't yell at them as I do Taylor. I have a best friend in the whole world named Victoria. I have 5 grandparents. There's my mom's mom, my mom's dad, my mom's step-dad, my dad's dad, and my dad's mom. A.K.A. Grammy, Pop-Pop C, Pop-Pop, Papa, and Mimi. I live in FL. I used to live in NJ, but moved here about 2 years ago. I have 3 pets: a cat, a fish, and a dog. A.K.A. Riley, Mustafa, and Lucy. I love dance, writing poetry, modeling, and fashion. My favorite place in the whole world is NYC. I have the best friends you could ever imagine. My sister and I are nothing alike. I'm random, blonde, and a klutz. Many people don't like me, but I don't care what people think. Well, I do, but I try my hardest not to care. I'm going into 10th grade. I am boy crazy. I am done with relationships for now, though, because I am sick of getting hurt. Too many people judge me before they really know me. I have so many masks, it's crazy. Every time I meet someone with a new type of personality, a new mask is created. I have a pleasing personality. In other words, when I meet someone, my personality will subconsciously change to make them like me. It takes me a really long time before I can be myself around someone. There is only one person in the whole world who I can fully 100% be myself around. That is why we're B.F.F. My parents punish me a LOT and I rebel against them a LOT. I'm waiting for the boy who will come up and talk to me. I'm not going up to them. I have a lot of things wrong with me, but I'm ok with that. Many people get the wrong impression of me because I'll get the wrong impression of them. I talk way too much; I have self-esteem issues, A.D.D., anxiety disorder, and clinical depression. My family treats me different because of it and I'll get annoyed at people a lot. I'll get annoyed bit by bit, but you can't tell when I'm getting annoyed. Then, someone will say the wrong thing and I'll snap and end up doing and saying things I soon regret. I become a completely different person when I'm mad, which is why I only have one person in the whole world that I can be myself with. She puts up with way more than her share of me. I'll yell at her when I don't mean to, cry with her, tell her when she's annoying the hell out of me, and she knows not to take any of this to heart. I like to make people laugh. I am very sarcastic. I have had 2 boys break my heart, than keep it. Nobody has completely glued it back together. I hate high school. Many people are mean and nobody is grateful. When people don't know what I mean, it annoys me. When people can't suck up their pride, it annoys me. And so that's pretty much it. Nothing major has happened today, so I have nothing to write about yet, but now at least I won't have to explain anything, because now you pretty much know me.

Infinite x's and o's,
Elizabeth

Don't Judge

You think you really know me,
You think you understand.
That’s impossible, though,
Because the key is in my hands.

Don’t judge me by my clothes,
Don’t judge me by my friends.
Don’t judge me by the path I chose,
‘Cuz you don’t know when it ends.

Maybe I don’t dress like you,
And maybe I’m not your friend
But try learning something new,
Or at least try to pretend.

Walk a mile in my shoes,
Try being me.
Maybe then you’ll understand,
Maybe then you’ll see.

P.S. Any poetry in this blog is written by me--Elizabeth.